I have another association with the Christmas party. I had this hope that I would wear “The Dress” this year. Finally.
The Dress is a dress that an old roommate gave me ages ago because it no longer fit her. It’s black, slinky, strappy and sexy as all get out. It’s the perfect length and perfect style for just about any semi-formal occasion. And most importantly, I feel feminine in it (which is relevant if you read the previous post). The caveat is that it’s very figure-hugging, in that it’s tight all the down to the hip. And while I’m a medium sized girl, I have lumps and bumps and general squishiness that I do not wish to expose to the world at large.
So this dress hangs in my closet and is pulled out at intervals when I want to torture myself or steel my resolve to lose the last of my paunch. I need to lose a mere 10 to 15 lbs to smooth things out, or so I estimate, which is a drop in the bucket compared to the amazing achievements of so many bloggers.
I was so hoping to wear this dress if not to the Christmas party, then on my birthday which is New Year’s. And given my progress, or lack there of, it’s not going to happen. No way, nope, nu-uh. I realized that last week when I pulled The Dress out of the closet for a try. I wore the right underwear (I refuse to wear Spanx or any constricting undergarment, so for me that means something that wouldn't show lines, and then a bra that provides some oomph), my sexiest high heels, everything set so that I would look my best. And looking in the mirror I realized that I had really made no progress at all since August which was the last time I tried on The Dress.
And it was then that I kinda gave up.
Not the “I’m-giving-up-so-pass-me-that-pan-of-brownies-and-carton-of-ice-cream-and-hey-are-you-going-to-finsh-that?” type of giving up. Rather it was the “whatever” kind of give up. The kind where you continue to go through the motions of everything (which, thank heavens, has let me maintain), but you’re not really trying anymore.
I haven’t tracking in over a week. I haven’t hit the gym since the day of The Dress. My lunches that I was packing so meticulously, not so meticulous. I spilt a bag of chip with Nick for supper on Monday. Etc, etc.
I’m doing some thinking. Results are pending, but right now I’m very disappointed with myself.
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A somewhat pretentious title, but genuinely how I feel. I want to lose the last 15 lbs, but not without losing my sense of irony. I don't want to be melodramatic about weight loss (although I might indulge in a "woe-is-me" every now and then), 'cause it's not life altering, so I shouldn't pretend that it is.
3 comments:
STOP!!!!!! Maintaining a healthy (a healthy....) weight is an amazing thing to do. If this dress is not fitting you or it fits but does not disquise your bumps and stuff then it is the WRONG dress for you. Instead of giving up ... get out and go try on tons of other dresses until you find one that makes you look amazing. The fact that you are putting all of your healthy lifestyle on the sholders of one (free and not originally yours) dress is ridiculous.
I know that it is depressing to feel like you are not improving, but what about the way you feel. Do you feel healthy? Do you feel like you have energy and life? If you do and you stop your healthy choices you may lose that feeling and that would be sad.
Sounds like you know what you are doing wrong. Time to start anew...TODAY! Don't give up!
I agree with Julie. Get a different style of dress that fits your body. And get back into the healthy habits that make you feel good. Set mini goals to help you get to the big one. Hang in there! We know you CAN do this.
Path to Health
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