I’m really frustrated with myself, though. Time and time again I let my emotions drive my eating habits. Aside from my vanity being affected when my pants start getting too tight, a swing of 10 lbs in a month can have a detrimental effect on my health.
There is one other woman that attends, and she and I have become sort of buddies, or at least regular training partners. However, she doesn’t have the same problem with being snubbed because she is best friends with our instructor and has worked with several of the other “alpha” guys (this is how she got into the sport). So when it comes to partner up, they have no problem grappling with her even though they’re much more advanced. They offer hints, and are very patient. Such is not the case with me. If they do agree to work with me, then I often feel that they are frustrated with my inferior skills. Or maybe I’m just paranoid.
Long and short, the discomfort, paranoia induced or not, means that I often am less than motivated to attend class. And on days when my training buddy is not going to make it, I’m even less inclined to go. Like today.
Aside from the above, the location and the timing of classes makes getting to the studio an effort. So, my motivation has to be even higher to overcome that.
Le sigh. I would like to advance in this sport, I really would, but the roadblocks in my way (many of my own making), are making it seriously hard.