Monday, August 31, 2009

Stumbled, but picked myself back up (Day 4)

I stumbled a bit yesterday. It was a cardio optional day, and while I didn't do anything too intense, I did take the pup for a long walk, about one hour or 4 km. The day went quite well in terms of what I ate, until later that night.

In fact, I was pretty much on target until 11:00, when Nick went to bed. We're still not great, and I was feeling resentful of him due to his general apathy about our relationship (which is a subject that I'm not ready to tackle right now), so I felt restless and not ready for bed. So I stayed up, just foolng around on the computer, and I started to nibble. It went on for about an hour, until I had eaten about 1,400 cal over my target for the day in almonds, trail mix and granola bars.

Extreme, somewhat, but given my track record of binging, I'm taking it in stride. For one thing, it was all more or less healthy food. For another, 1,400 cal is nothing compared to some other ninges in the past.

But the three most important things are that 1.) I tracked what I ate (something I usually don't do after a binge), 2.) I recognize and acknowledge the trigger (late night + stress created by relationship problems) and 3.) I haven't let it continue.

The third point may be the most significant. In the past, one binge would easily lead to days, or weeks or more, of self-sabotaging behviour. I've been off work today, and I've not only eaten healthfully, I've made several healthy foods for the rest of the week (turkey chili for lunches and/or dinners and soy/spelt/zucchini bread for breakfasts and snacks). I'm also dressed for the gym right this second and will be heading there after I hit "post".

My biggest challenge today will actually be this evening. We have our final flag football game in the co-ed league that I play in, and I know that the team will be heading out to the bar that sponsers the league afterwards. I can resist the beer, but there are free nachos provided (as part of the sponsorship) and they are so delicious. My plan is to eat a good supper before the game, and to bring a protein bar to eat right before the bar. I also don't plan on staying too long, and given that Nick (who also plays in the league) and I are taking separate cars because of wonky schedules, I won't feel the guilt of making him leave early.

Here's to fingers crossed for a successful Day 4!

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