Note: neither of these ladies is me. However, I just wanted to show two women in jiu-jitsu who weren't wrestling in bikinis (google, you make me sad sometimes...)
So the high of a couple of days ago was apparently bloat, ‘cause I’m back down to 151.6. That means that I’ve dropped a couple of pounds since last week, and so am feeling a little bit better about myself. As of right now, I should be able to get back to my baseline weight of 145 lbs by my trip to LA in three weeks, assuming that I can lose the prescribed healthy weight of 2 lbs per week.
I’m really frustrated with myself, though. Time and time again I let my emotions drive my eating habits. Aside from my vanity being affected when my pants start getting too tight, a swing of 10 lbs in a month can have a detrimental effect on my health.
I’m really frustrated with myself, though. Time and time again I let my emotions drive my eating habits. Aside from my vanity being affected when my pants start getting too tight, a swing of 10 lbs in a month can have a detrimental effect on my health.
I’m still feeling a little lost in terms of my activity. No football this summer for the first time in years has left me feeling like I’m cut adrift. I’ve been getting more into jiu-jitsu, but the gym where I’ve been training is MMA oriented (Mixed Martial Arts, like the UFC). That means that it is VERY heavy on the testosterone. Usually I feel like I can hold my own in such situations, but the machismo is pretty extreme, and most of the guys don’t even talk to me. So although I really enjoy it, it’s really hard to get the same feeling of being part of a group that I would get from football.
There is one other woman that attends, and she and I have become sort of buddies, or at least regular training partners. However, she doesn’t have the same problem with being snubbed because she is best friends with our instructor and has worked with several of the other “alpha” guys (this is how she got into the sport). So when it comes to partner up, they have no problem grappling with her even though they’re much more advanced. They offer hints, and are very patient. Such is not the case with me. If they do agree to work with me, then I often feel that they are frustrated with my inferior skills. Or maybe I’m just paranoid.
Long and short, the discomfort, paranoia induced or not, means that I often am less than motivated to attend class. And on days when my training buddy is not going to make it, I’m even less inclined to go. Like today.
Aside from the above, the location and the timing of classes makes getting to the studio an effort. So, my motivation has to be even higher to overcome that.
Le sigh. I would like to advance in this sport, I really would, but the roadblocks in my way (many of my own making), are making it seriously hard.
There is one other woman that attends, and she and I have become sort of buddies, or at least regular training partners. However, she doesn’t have the same problem with being snubbed because she is best friends with our instructor and has worked with several of the other “alpha” guys (this is how she got into the sport). So when it comes to partner up, they have no problem grappling with her even though they’re much more advanced. They offer hints, and are very patient. Such is not the case with me. If they do agree to work with me, then I often feel that they are frustrated with my inferior skills. Or maybe I’m just paranoid.
Long and short, the discomfort, paranoia induced or not, means that I often am less than motivated to attend class. And on days when my training buddy is not going to make it, I’m even less inclined to go. Like today.
Aside from the above, the location and the timing of classes makes getting to the studio an effort. So, my motivation has to be even higher to overcome that.
Le sigh. I would like to advance in this sport, I really would, but the roadblocks in my way (many of my own making), are making it seriously hard.
1 comment:
Ju Jitsu looks absolutely amazing and maybe a good way of dealing with issues behind emotional eating, such as frustration, anger, and sadness? Thanks for the inspiring picture. Hope you do it!
jen
Boda Weight Loss Blog
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