Just breathe

Wednesday and Thursday were both good days (although I would up snacking on multigrain tortilla chips last night.... not too many, but the only reason I touched them was because they were sitting in front of me for the ENTIRE NIGHT!!! grrrrr), however, today was teetering on the brink.

I made beautiful meals for myself last night, breakfast and supper as well as lunch because I have to stay in the city for a coaching clinic this evening and because I was running late this morning (and I like to eat about an hour or so after I wake, so brekkie at work is better for me). All my meals planned out, healthy and filling. And then I left it on the kitchen counter this morning. Dammit.

Starving, I rumaged in my desk and came out with a Nutrigrain bar, from where?? I don't know.... I didn't pause long enough to ask questions. And after in was gone (in two gulps! Those things are wee!), I started thinking about what other sweet delights I could get in the next ten minutes. I started justifying a date square (dried fruit and oats!!), an apple cinnamon bun (more fruit!), a nanamio square (damage is already done! May as well plow on!), and saying that I'll work out on my lunch break and before the clinic. The synthetic sweetness of the crappy cereal bar made me just want more, more, MORE!

But I called my Mom. Not about my urge to binge, but chatted about other things. And then I started to write this. Since the opening paragraph (which I have just changed from "is teetering" to "was teetering"), I have quelled my sugar demons, and have decided to drive the 20 minutes home. It'll be my lunch break (although I'm doing it now so that I don't talk myself out of it).

Sometimes you just have to take a moment to breathe, no?