Floundering

* Those are flounders... geddit???

I’m eating in a very disordered way, and the more I try and turn my attention to it, the more I fall down. Every day starts out so well, and then there’s a slip. And then another. And then, before you know it, I’ve eaten the world and it’s only 2:30 in the afternoon.

Aside from the fact that my weight has been slowly but surely rising, I’m also starting to feel the other side-effects of my poor eating habits. I’m currently suffering from a major sugar crash and want nothing more than to crawl under my desk and sleep. My skin has lost its glow and my eyes are puffy in the morning.

I’m not sure how to deal with the lethargy that threatens to overwhelm me. I’m going to see a personal trainer on Saturday, and will be joining a running group starting this Tuesday coming. I’m not sure if either of these will address my poor eating habits.

Reasons why I want to lose 15 to 20 lbs:

1. Football season starts up in 3.5 weeks
2. Dance recital (in teeny-tiny outfits) in about 5 weeks
3. Weekend away with several other couples in about 8 weeks
4. Wedding, which will also be attended by Nick’s ex in about 9 weeks
5. Wedding in which I’m a bridesmaid in about 14 weeks

Positive things:

• I’ve been hitting the weights 2-3x/week for the past few months, and I’m definitely noticing improvements in strength
• I’m still getting to gym 3-4x/week
• I was doing really well with everything until I came back from Trinidad 2 ½ weeks ago
• I have entered everything I’ve eaten into the Daily Plate for the past three days (today being the third)
  

Negative things:

• My eating has been bad bad bad
  

Specifically, every day I’ve been having crazy sugar cravings. I know it’s due to general boredom, job dissatisfaction, concerns about my life with Nick, and the feeling that I’m adrift, and by recognizing the origin of the urge I should be bale to control it. However, such has not been the case. I’ve also noticed that I’ve been steadily gnawing on my nails, another sign of general malcontent.

I’m going to once again try and get back on the blogging wagon, as that seems to give me some focus. I'm going to watch myself for the next few days and try and look at some triggers and/or root causes rather than jumping in with undirected solutions.